Working through the Pain

When it comes to physical activity, I need tough love. Yell at me, piss me off, make me push harder. No pain, no gain.

As a kid I pitched for my local softball tournament team. We played in three different divisions, each one with slightly different rules, mainly on arch height for the pitch. My dad set up rods protruding from this old TV antenna pole next to our house, to represent the different height restrictions for the different softball leagues. If we were playing in League A, then I had to pitch under the first bar. If it was League B, then the ball had to go between the first two bars, and if it was League C, then the ball had to go over the highest bar. Each Tuesday (I had Monday off), we would go out into the yard and I would pitch, adjusting the height for whatever tournament was that upcoming weekend. I had to pitch 100 strikes before we called it a night--and this was AFTER our team practice. I mean, really, what 9-year-old has her mom keep a notebook of statistics for EVERY game played...balls, strikes, walks, strike outs, singles give up, doubles, triples...I was 9!! Tough love.

I've dated a couple bodybuilders. They wanted me to compete in figure competitions. After years of my ex-fiance telling me every day "You're fat. You're ugly. You're stupid. If we weren't together, no one would want you." my self confidence was a little shot. I mean come on, I was 5'2 and 115lbs, all muscle. (Just a reflection...now I'm 145...I know I'll never be that small again, but I'll be happy trimming away 20lbs). So, anyway, there was NO way that I was going to get on stage, but after taking a year off to study for my licensing exam, I was more than willing to have my butt kicked into shape. And he did. Pushed and yelled and encouraged me to lose 10lbs and get into my best shape since my college days.

Nearly two years have passed since then and I've reached new lows. Or highs, as the case may be. A few months ago a friend and I decided to start running. Great, strength in numbers, hold me accountable. Over the course of a few months we went from killing ourselves over one mile to running nearly 5. We completed our first 5K race and then our running dropped off. Holidays, vacations, there was always an excuse. Two weeks ago we started running and have quickly gotten back up to 3.5 miles, although the speed is not quite where it was a few months ago. Monday night we ran in 30 degree weather and tonight in the 65 degree weather my legs were cramping like nothing funny. So what did I do...grit my teeth, let the tears run down my face and keep on going. No pain, no gain. My poor running partner was not forewarned of my relentless to give up once started and thought that I was mad at him! Oh I am so sorry. Our run was capped off by twenty minutes of ground rules. Laying down the guidelines for my stubbornness. Yes, I may grunt and curse and yell, but its with love. Keep on pushing. It's all uphill.